The Power of Online Memberships

Have you ever noticed geese flying overhead, whether that be south for the winter, or back home in the spring? 

In Canada where I live, this is a regular sight and a sure sign of the seasons passing.

From time to time, it's easy to notice that there is a certain pattern to the flying geese. Often, they fly in formation, in a shape that makes it easier to fly as a group than alone, something that conserves energy for the trip.

Online memberships, when built right, are built on the same philosophy, even though they consist of bits, bytes, pixels and websites and not beaks, feathers or wings.

Have you noticed that things are easier to do when you're surrounded by like-minded people going for the same goal?

Training for a marathon seems less onerous when you run with a bunch of buddies.

A garage sale seems like too much bother until the neighbourhood holds one together.

And of course, goals become so much more achievable when there's a coach in the picture.

An online membership usually consists of a private website available to a certain set of people with common interests and goals. 

Much like a library, online memberships take on a certain form, often containing resources such as books, magazines, articles, and even audio and video materials.

Premium membersip sites will often integrate a personal touch by providing support from a real person, whether that be by email, help desk or at a discussion board.

At its most elaborate, membership websites can leak over into the offline world, and members who were previously cyber-buddies only meet face-to-face for the first time and the bonds get cemented. These tend to be memberships that have the most longevity online...they achieve this by weaving in real meetings so the online connection takes on a new dimension.

Online memberships have certain significant characteristics:

A membership site gives your clients access to the information they need, when they want it, not just when you are available by telephone.

A membership site gives your clients access to each other, and the body of knowledge they represent, which can be enormous. The powerful connections that are made are very good fodder for a multidimensional coaching experience for your clients.

A membership site can be demanding to maintain, since new content and material need to be developed to ensure the membership is fresh and up to date. 

With more than a million people in the world now identifying themselves with one of thousands of online groups, online memberships are modern 'tribes' that are filling the gaps being left by neighbourhoods and even church groups of old.

By Andrea J. Lee

A Coaching Secret

I've told people for a long time that one of the "secrets" of coaching is forgiveness. Forgiveness takes your finger out of the dyke of the past so you can let the future flow. Buddha said, "forgiveness is giving up all hope of a better past." It is an act of total volition, requiring only a softening of the heart. But how do you forgive the unforgivable?

Like millions of Americans, I have been steeped in this paradox. D-Day + 64 was very difficult. Honoring our dead in the midst of our current war heightened this conflict for me. How can I coach people to forgive when I am having difficult in forgiving?

I've talked about this with people who I deeply respect, trust and love. I share it with you. Forgiveness is releasing the bands on your heart that interfere with your moving forward. To forgive behavior is not to condone it. Condoning is like ignoring, looking the other way. Forgiving is allowing you to look without letting your own history interfere. Personally, I can forgive our soldiers for their appalling behavior and continue to work as hard as I can to change this administration.

But here is a totally spiritual view. It is a view that I hold. I come from the notion that the purpose of life - for each of us - is to be as close to G_d as possible. So that whenever anything bad happens to us, I hold that we have been given another opportunity to move spiritually closer to G_d. I call it the "find the pencil" theory of the universe. When you get closer you get more and more positive feedback -"you're getting warm, warmer, hot, hotter." And when you respond otherwise, the universe gives you increasingly negative feedback - "cool, cold, colder?" So forgiving our soldiers is an opportunity for spiritual growth. You can actually empathize with those you are angry with, because the universe has given them the burden of being that way.

Aside from one cousin, all of my relatives from WWII have passed on. The war exists for me as memory and my experiences as a young boy. I remember going on a train from Brooklyn to Miami and being 'adopted' by a group of soldiers - a fondly remembered highlight of my boyhood - And going to Ebbets Field to watch the Dodgers - I sat in the left field bleachers, right next to the section reserved for the military - I loved it. I have a photograph of myself at age seven, wearing a full soldier's outfit I love my country.

As I forgive today's unfortunate army, I recover my love, my hero worship and my deep respect for these brave, willing, but unwitting young people. And I grieve for those who have so senselessly died.

Forgiveness works.


By Michael Lipp

Coaching Prime Time

An awful lot of fantastic coaching has been coming out of Hollywood lately, have you noticed?

Whether it's Morgan Spurlock's feature film debut "Supersize Me"...

"Michael Moore's "Fahrenheit 9/11" also on the big screen...

Or the immense coaching breakthrough moments in "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy"...

Tears of joy and newfound confidence in "What Not to Wear"...

And ABC's lifechanging "Extreme Makeover, Home Edition"...

It's undeniable. Coaching has come, and found it's place in what I consider to be some of the very best work coming out of Hollywood.

And that's not even mentioning the more obvious "Starting Over" and other reality TV shows that revolve around the idea of changing lives for the better through Life Coaching. 

Pretty darned cool stuff especially when you consider the limitless reach of television and film in our lives. Will video games with a coaching theme be next? Well if those things have to exist, I can only hope.

Question for you.

Seeing as we're talking about movies and such.

If you were the last coach on earth, and it was up to you to save the world from its impending doom, who would be the 10 people you would do ANYTHING to coach. 

In other words, if your coaching skills were the only thing between survival and certain death and destruction...what 10 people would you choose, out of all the people you know, or maybe who you currently coaching, to coach like a fiend, and save the day?

I know, it's a pretty funny premise. And no I don't think any studios will come a-knocking, but I do have a reason for asking.

I strongly believe that coaching has a large role to grow into, to coach those in the public eye, whether that be actors, directors, studio executives, station owners, news programmers, journalists, politicians at all levels of government.

In fact, I'll call it a responsibility of the coaching profession going forward.

These are the people who through coaching, can be said to have a level of influence that has the potential to spread the effects of coaching to the Nth degree.

Don't get me wrong, there is nothing small or unworthy about coaching clients who aren't in the public arena.

But it was Archimedes who said "Give me a lever long enough and I will move the world."


By Andrea J. Lee

Should I Get A Coach?

Why should or would someone hire a life coach? Well, why would anyone purchase the services of a personal trainer, and interior designer or a sports coach - any professional "assistant" for that matter? After all, we all know how to exercise, how to hang a curtain and how to play our own game. But we hire a professional because we know that they will hold us accountable on our goals and objectives - and since we're paying good money for them to be there, often whether we show up or not, we have an added incentive to do so ourselves. We also understand that even though our knowledge of what we're doing may be strong, a professional always has tips, tools and tricks at their disposal which can save us time, aggravation and money. And we get that even the best of best can't "see themselves" from the outside and don't have the objective standpoint about their skills and abilities that a trained and experienced professional can bring to bear on any given situation.

Just as a even a top-notch athlete can benefit from the instruction and observations from an outside source (even a source whose skill does not match that of the athlete's), so can many individuals benefit from an objective, trained and focused viewpoint to help with the issues in their lives. Most people are "too close to the forest to see the trees" in their own life to make these sorts of changes or improvements themselves, or even realize that such change is possible.

Factors such as inertia, pre-programmed or biased thinking about our options and potential, unfamiliarity with opportunities or alternatives outside our normal scope of experience, etc., also make even the smallest changes difficult, if not impossible. How much harder then is it to make drastic, sweeping changes such as reorienting our life purpose, turning a business around or chasing after a long-held dream?

A coach does not have the same limited views about the client's life that the client does, and so can offer insight, ideas, frameworks, paradigms and resources that the client simply doesn't have access to. Coaches create a safe zone within which the client can explore new ideas, try out new directions, and discuss problems and concerns without fear of judgment or criticism, while at the same time providing support systems that enable the client to move forward at whatever pace the client desires.

Life and personal coaching is for anyone who wants: change, joy, a new outlook on life, a better version of the old outlook on life, skill improvement, access to life-improvement resources and tools, a new career, a new life, renewed enthusiasm for their current life, adventure, energy, a sense of freedom, help finding a new direction, help dealing with their current direction, more fun, help setting up systems to support their goals and dreams and many other such quality of life improvements. If that describes you, then why not give it a try? The worst you could do is nothing at all.

By Soni Pitts

The Student Who Knew Too Much

This article is for those of you who coach or mentor. Does this sound familiar?

"Can't I just try to mail or email, do I really have to call"

"I was thinking I could wait to get business cards"

"I wanted to be successful first, before I start to market or network"

"Why do I have to do it that way, I thought I could do it this way"


I could go on, but I think you get the picture. I am always amazed by students who pay us for coaching and then question every thing we tell them to do. The business card one was the kicker. I had just spent 20 minutes telling them how important business cards were, how and who to give them to, and then they had the audacity to tell me that they wanted to wait.

So you say, what do you do. Well, I tell them you paid me to coach you. You said you wanted my expertise, you wanted to be successful, you wanted to make money. However, in order to do that you need to get cards made up and you need to network, and market. You will need to use the telephone and the other forms of marketing outlined in the manual. However, remember this is YOUR BUSINESS. If you choose not to follow the methods I have outlined, then don't expect to succeed during the time frame we initially discussed. When your business doesn't take off, and you don't get the referrals; which in effect, cuts down on the number of deals (transactions, sales, etc. fill in the blank here depending upon the type of coaching you are doing) don't ask me why you didn't succeed, because I will tell you "I told you so".

"The student who knew too much" are usually the ones that have tried other things over the years. Problems rarely occur with individuals who have worked in Corporate America, or other types of jobs during their life. They take what you say to heart and are usually the ones who succeed, and in record time I might add.

So before taking on a student find out what other things they have done, tell them up front the program will work if they follow what you tell them to do, THERE ARE NO SHORTCUTS.

Be firm, be upfront, be blunt, and then all we can do is hope for the best.Just know that you are not alone, all coaches and mentors go through this!

Copyright 2003 DeFiore Enterprises

7 Destructive Habits of Incompetent People

WARNING! If you want to have a fantastic life, never engage
yourself in these 7 deadly habits that incompetent people do.

NUMBER 1 - They Think, Say, & Do Negative Things.

Yup. They see problems in every opportunity. 

They complain that the sun is too hot. They cursed the rain
for ruining their plans for the day. They blame the wind
for ruining their hair. 

They think that everyone is against them. They see the problems
but never the solutions. 

Every little bit of difficulty is exaggerated to the point of
tragedy. They regard failures as catastrophes. They become
discouraged easily instead of learning from their mistakes.

They never seem to move forward because they're always afraid
to come out of their comfort zones.

NUMBER 2 - They Act Before They Think.

They move based on instinst or impulse. If they see something
they like, they buy at once without any second thought.

Then they see something better. They regret & curse for not
able to take advantage of the bargain.

Then they spend & spend again until nothing's left. They
don't think about the future. What they're after is the
pleasure they will experience at present.

They don't think about the consequenses. Those who engage
in unsafe sex, criminality, and the like are included in
this group.

NUMBER 3 - They Talk Much More Than They Listen

They want to be the star of the show. So they always engage
in talks that would make them heroes, even to the point of
lying.

Oftentimes they are not aware that what they're saying is not
sensible anymore.

When other people advise them, they close their ears because
they're too proud to admit their mistakes. 

In their mind they're always correct. They reject suggestions
because that will make them feel inferior.

NUMBER 4 - They Give Up Easily

Successful people treat failures as stepping stones to success.

Incompetent ones call it quits upon recognizing the first signs
of failure.

At first, they may be excited to start an endeavor. But then
they lose interest fairly quickly, especially when they
encounter errors.

Then they go & search for a new one. Same story & same results.
Incompetent people don't have the persistence to go on and
fulfill their dreams.

NUMBER 5 - They Try to Bring Others Down To Their Level

Incompetent people envy other successful individuals. Instead
of working hard to be like them, these incompetent ones spread
rumors and try every dirty trick to bring them down.

They could've asked these successful ones nicely. But no, they're
too proud. They don't want to ask advise. Moreover, they're
too negative to accomplish anything.

NUMBER 6 - They Waste Their Time

They don't know what to do next. They may just be contented on
eating, getting drunk, watching TV, or worse, staring at the
blank wall with no thoughts whatsoever to improve their lives.

It's perfectly fine to enjoy once in a while. But time should be
managed efficiently in order to succeed. There should be a
proper balance between work & pleasure.

NUMBER 7 - They Take the Easy Way Out

If there are two roads to choose from, incompetent people would
choose the wider road with less rewards than the narrower road
with much better rewards at the end.

They don't want any suffering or hardship. They want a good life.

What these people don't know is that what you reap is what you
sow. Efforts & action will not go unnoticed. 

If only they would be willing to sacrifice a little, they would
be much better off. 

Successful people made it through trials & error. They never
give up. They are willing to do everything necessary to achieve
what they aspire for in life.

By Michael Lee

Do You Dither in Your Job Search?

I looked up the definition of "to dither" before writing this article. It is to be agitated and in a nervous state.

My definition, however, as it relates to a job seeker is that some people will spend many minutes and hours, seeking a way out of looking for a job. It is a neighbor of procrastination.

But "dithering" also can mean, going from one activity to another. For example: Writing down names of people to call about jobs, but never making the calls or putting one's attention onto other things.

All kinds of motions/actions are made to find a job.They all add up to busy work and the active tasks are left out.

How will a person stop this aimlessness and get something done on their own behalf? Setting goals with a definite timeline to achieve them, are what job seekers HAVE to do.

"Dithering" is good for butterflies and birds, but not for job seekers.

By Marilyn J. Tellez, M.A.

Our Worst Enemy

Who do you consider as your worst enemy? The criminals roaming
the dark streets? Your boss who's killing you mentally and
emotionally with stress and harsh words? The people in office
who are engaging in graft and corruption, instead of helping
those in need?

We have many implications of who our enemies are; but we have
one common foe who is the main cause of our failures and
misfortunes, and we're not even aware of this opponent.

You may not want to admit it, but our worst enemy is ourselves.

Who do you blame when something goes wrong? You blame the people
around you, the weather, maybe even God. But we are the ones who
are in control of ourselves. We can change the outcome of our
lives because we have the capacity to do that.

It is our fear, jealousy, greed, etc. that is ruining our lives.
Some people who never managed to get out of poverty blame the
government or their jobs. But they're too afraid to try out
new ventures that may improve their lives. They half-heartedly
go to work on their 9 to 5 job. Then when the day is done, they
watch TV and go out aimlessly having fun without seriously
thinking of what great opportunity the future has in store for
them, if only they would try to do something different with their
lives.

Fear has caused many to remain frigid and to never go out 
exploring the wonderful things this world has to offer.
Lots of people would rather stay where they are in an
unsatisfied state than to risk difficulties and obstacles
for the sake of attaining their dreams.

If their lives are not getting any better, they have no else
to blame but themselves.

Jealousy and envy has also caused some relationship problems.
Some people immediately jump to conclusions without first
analyzing the situation. They let their sudden emotions
control their behaviors without even thinking of the
consequences that may result.

If they're having problems with their relationships, they
have no else to blame but themselves.

This goes to show that we decide what will happen to us. Of
course, there are circumstances that are beyond our control,
like natural calamities. But we can still utilize to our best
advantage the things that we have control of.

For instance, you got rejected by your dream girl. Some
people would just get drunk and feel miserable, thinking that
it's the end of the world. Some will move onwards with their
lives and find the best in what remains with them. See? It's
really up to you. You decide if you want to have a good life
or not.

You failed in your exams? So what? There's another
opportunity. You can just sulk in sorrow or you can study
harder to get a high score in the future. It's up to you.

There's no use crying over spilled milk. You don't have to
get frustrated over your misfortunes. Concentrate on how
you could get better in the future. 

If we encounter problems, we can either succumb to it, or we
can treat it as an opportunity to become stronger and to
become better individuals. Winners would always treat their
dilemmas as opportunities.

Oh yes. We can be our worst enemy, but we can also be our
best friend. It's all up to you!


By Michael Lee

Theres Gold in that Silence

Can you recall a time where you utilized silence to make a point? If you can consciously recall, you probably know your silence made more than just a point; it made an exclamation point ... and without a single word preceding it. Now that's powerful.

Silence is a widely-known, but rarely used, powerful communication tool. Why is that? Because it can be used to shed light or convey darkness. Utilizing the sound of silence is truly the "master's" art of communication. It quaintly epitomizes a spiritually and socially acceptable passive assertiveness. The ability to remain quiet confirms that one is in total control. It also confirms that the individual is disciplined and will not be lead into conversations that are counterproductive and energy-draining. Silence can help us listen, keep a secret, serve in love and receive the very core of what is being said. Silence can say "I really do care."

Have you ever had a conversation where all you were waiting for was for the speaker to pause, just so you could say, what you needed to say? You know, where you start planning to respond to that which hadn't even been said yet? We all have. When this happens, we don't absorb the full content of the conversation. Many variables influence our desire to lose focus on what our speaker is saying. For example: your schedule, what you may be watching on TV, your mental, emotional, and physical states and of the like. Listen so that both your brain and heart are passionately aligned to receive the speaker's words. Strive to increase your understanding and place it before your desire to be understood.

Learn to be comfortable with silence and master the self-control it requires. Only then will you be able to experience the "golden" within.

By Fran Briggs

Expectations Can Get In Our Way

There are times when we truly look forward to something just as there are times when we totally dread something. What is the difference between anticipation with joy and anticipation with anxiety? Where and how does that expectation actually take place? If we think about it, the expectations take place in our minds. And, what that really means is that we totally make it up. We tend to create ideas and stories about how wonderful or awful something might be.

If we expect things to be positive and then they're not, we have set ourselves up for a disappointment. If we expect something to be difficult or challenging, and it winds up being easy or fun, we are pleasantly surprised. The things that we expect are things that have not already taken place, so in essence, we can't possibly know for sure if they will be good or bad. Yet, we THINK they will be one way or another. All the while, the idea of good or bad is going on in our minds even though the actuality hasn't yet taken place.

I can remember letting every distraction take me away from a project that I was really dreading. In my mind, I 'expected' the project to be difficult and time consuming. Clearly, I couldn't 'really' know what it would be like because it hadn't actually happened. Yet, I was convinced of all the negatives. Eventually, I set aside a block of time and 'forced' myself to deal with and finish it. What happened in reality? Once I set the time aside and focused on it, it went smoothly. It wasn't particularly difficult and the relief I felt when it was complete was enormous. That is not to say that the expectation may have turned out to be true. It may have been difficult, but it's important to note that either way, a lot of energy went into the expectation phase and could have gone directly into the reality of doing it -rather than wasting energy thinking and guessing what it might be like.

Thinking back to a time when my children were quite young, my son, who is older than my daughter, was extremely cautious and conscientious. My daughter was much more of a free spirit who didn't concern herself about responsibility. My son came home from school without his hand-knit sweater. I went crazy not understanding how a child who is so responsible could do something so irresponsible. Then I caught myself - I thought if this had been my daughter, I would have expected something like that. And from that moment on, I realized how our expectations can get in the way and how our behavior can be based on ideas and thoughts that just aren't true and may have no relevance. ANY child could have left a sweater behind. The difference occurred only in my expectations.

INVITATION TO EXPERIMENT: Is there something that you have expectations around? Perhaps, it's the behavior of another person, something you have put off doing, or maybe it's realizing that an expectation exists in your mind about something you would like to be different. If you are willing, notice your expectations and see them for what they really are - just ideas around something that may not be true or may not be possible. Also, notice how much time or energy goes into thinking about the ideas running rampant in your mind. Hopefully, you'll experience freedom and relief when dropping those ideas.

By Marion Franklin

The Great Marketing Reframe

From grimaces to stomach knots, talking about marketing seems to take on the sound of Charlie Brown's teacher, with so many syllables of "wah WAaah, wah WAah, wah."
What does this mean?
For starters, I find it terrifying ironic that, when it boils down to it, truly - marketing and coaching are actually ONE.
Yes that's right. I may be in the minority, but it's served me very well to see marketing and coaching with an equals sign between them. As in they are equivalent.
At heart, coaching is nothing but an advanced level of communicating, or some might prefer the word relating. Great coaching expands your awareness, lights a fire under you, makes you go 'Eureka!'
In the same way, great marketing is really only communication.
It causes action.
Coaching AND marketing both, when they're doing their 'thing'? bridge gaps of understanding. They solve problems. 
But of course when great marketing is being done on behalf of things, people or concepts that we don't like or agree with (politicians, warfare, annoying television, anything being marketed at the dinner hour) THEN of course, we begin to hate marketers and marketing.
I really think the way to get over this angst around marketing is to let ourselves be convinced or not convinced, whatever way the message is being delivered, AND whether we are convinced or not, reserve the right to NOT buy.
A lot of the reason why people (coaches too) feel the need to be rude to a telemarketer is because they're afraid of being sold, and spending money they don't have.
So try it, whenever you think about doing something dreaded like 'marketing' of any kind, think of it as coaching instead, and retap into that deep well of conviction and passion that you are here to coach.
By Andrea J. Lee

What The Buddha Says About Coaches

There is a Buddhist saying that goes like this:

"If you meet the Buddha on the road, kill it." 

This means to kill any concept of the Buddha as something apart from oneself.

To kill the Buddha is to BE the Buddha. Any concept we can have of the Buddha is so much smaller than the reality of what the Buddha actually is. And therefore any concept we have of the Buddha is limiting. 

To experience the reality of the Buddha, we must destroy that concept in order to be free of the limitations.

Regardless of your spiritual beliefs, this analogy can be applied to coaches and coaching.

"If you meet the Coach on the road, kill it."

This means to kill any concept of being a Coach as something apart from oneself.

To kill the concept of Coach is to BE a coach. To kill the Coach means to throw away the idea that we can flick a switch and "Be A Coach" while on the phone with a client, then hang up, and flick that switch off.

This simple philosophy can by used to create multiple streams of coaching income. By Bringing a coaching-rich approach to the creation of other streams of income, destroying our previous notions of that being a coach means coaching one-on-one, and the result is:

- a much greater impact of coaching on the world
- a much greater means to earn wealth for coaches

If you've been coaching for awhile, ask yourself, do you put on your role as a Coach like a hat, and take it off after you hang up the phone with a client?

Do you have an ON/OFF switch that you flick, turning your role as Coach on and off?

If yes, what would it be like for you to destroy your role as a Coach and go beyond?

By Andrea J. Lee

Burn-Out ...Whats Next?

If you feel the heat of burn-out, it is possible to stop the fire before it stops you.

Burn-out burns out
confidence
trust
hope

Burn-out can burn up
your job
your marriage
your friendships

There is a simple strategy for helping yourself prevent burn-out, especially if you are a person with more responsibilities than choices.

This strategy may seem too simple, even a waste of time, especially if you are used to looking for a SOLUTION.

YOU CAN PREVENT BURN-OUT BY LEARNING TO LISTEN TO YOURSELF ...even IF YOU THINK THAT YOU ALREADY KNOW EVERYTHING YOU HAVE TO SAY!.

If you are a person who is living in the Myth of Everything, then a PART of you that thinks it's ALL of you may be living MOST of your life. That PART of you may not be able to stop herself from working harder and harder as a way of finally making life easier...unless she finds someone to talk to.

The PART of you that is trying to be ALL of you may think that she is ALL of you, especially if you have taken it for granted that she is.

Everyone else in your life may think that this PART of you that tries to do it all is ALL of you, too.

If this is the case, you probably have A LOT of obligations and very few CHOICES.

If you are close to burn-out this PART may be doing everything she can to take care of you the only way she knows how.

I wonder how long she's been living your life.
I wonder who she thinks you are.
I wonder what she does to take care of you at work.
I wonder what she does to take care of you at home.
I wonder how old this PART of you really is.
I wonder what she would do if she discovered that she isn't alone.
I wonder how she would feel if she knew were listening and that she had even one person who understood what it feels like to be you.

If a PART of you has been living your life inside the Myth of Everything, she has probably been trying to get it all done so that you can finally do what you want, but this Part of you may not be big enough to be EVERYTHING FOR EVERYONE ALL OF THE TIME. She may not be big enough to be everything for you all of the time either.

HOWEVER....she may not appreciate your shoving her aside and taking over.
What if you asked her what you could do to help her out?
What if you asked her what would make it possible for her to let you be around more of the time?

LISTENING to yourself can often prevent burn-out. LISTENING is FRIENDLY.

Listening to a part of yourself is a good way to make a new friend of someone who thought you already knew.

When you LISTEN to a PART of you, then you are by definition NOT ONLY that PART...When you aren't ONLY one part of you, you might be able to find other parts of you that know how to help you avoid burning-out. You might find other parts of you to help you live the life you really want.

If you decide to LISTEN to the part of you who is living MOST of your life, remember that she needs a friend and not another critic.

After all she has been trying to do it all in a life where there is always more to do. Even if you can see that she doesn't "get-it" about what you really need, THIS PART OF YOU NEEDS A BREAK.

The last thing she needs is somebody telling her that she is not doing enough.

What this part of you really needs is a friend. She needs someone to talk to.

You could be that friend. It might make all the difference.

I am a graduate and ongoing student of Mentorcoach a professional coach training program, and I am a member of the International Coach Federation.

In addition to professional coach training, I have a Master's Degree and license in counseling psychology, graduate training in business communications, a graduate diploma in religious studies, a five-year training-analysis in Jungian psychology, and nearly twenty years' experience helping people make choices, overcome obstacles, and resolve conflicts in order to act in ways that satisfy them.

How to Choose the Right Coach for You

So you want to hire a coach but with so many choices it's easy to feel overwhelmed. How do you find the coach that is right for you? It can seem like a daunting task so here are some guidelines to help you make the right decision for you.

Step One Before you start interviewing coaches, here are some questions you might ask yourself. Your answers will give you a place to start your search.

1. Why do you want to hire a coach?

2. What kind of goals are you working on? Business? Personal? Creative? A combination?

3. What kind of background and experience do you want your coach to have? Do you want someone who has worked in large corporations or small businesses? Do you want someone with a spiritual background? Do you want someone who comes to coaching from therapy and counseling or not? Is it important that your coach have experience as an artist, writer, scientist, educator or something else?

4. Do you want a coach who provides structure and accountability or do you want someone who appreciates process as well?

5. How important are credentials to you? Be aware that credentials can tell you some things but not always what it is you need to know.

6. Do you want to work with a man or a woman? Does age matter to you? Are there ethnic or cultural issues that matter to you?

7. What values are most important to you? And which must your coach share?

8. Do you want a one on one relationship with your coach? Or would you prefer a group?

9. Do you want to meet with your coach in person? Or do you like the ease and efficiency of phone sessions? Maybe you would prefer coaching online, e-mail or instant messaging?

10. Do you want regularly scheduled appointments? Or do you want on call coaching just when you need it?

11. Do you want an experienced coach? Or are you open to working with a new coach? Most would assume that the experienced coach would be a better choice but in many cases the enthusiasm and the active learning of a newer coach can be of tremendous value.

12. How much are you willing to spend? This is the last question because it is the least relevant. And notice, I did not say how much can you afford? Hiring a coach is an investment in yourself and offers a very high return on investment. So the question becomes, how much are you willing to invest in yourself at this moment in time? My recommendation is to take money out of the equation, make a decision based on all other factors and then factor the money back in.

Take some time to think about these questions. Write down your answers and prioritize them. You may find a coach who has it all but chances are you will have to compromise on something so be clear about what is essential and what is not.

Step Two Once you are clear about what characteristics you want in a coach and what your priorities are, you are ready to start looking.

1. Ask for referrals. If you know a coach, someone who has a coach or someone who is familiar with the field, ask them to recommend some coaches. Discussion lists and networking groups may be places to put out your request.

2. Take classes. Most coaches teach classes in both live and teleclass formats. Find subjects that interest you or coaches who sound interesting and take their class.

3. Use referral websites. Coachville, the International Coach Federation (ICF) and the International Association of Coaches (IAC) all have directories of their member coaches.

4. Check out websites. Once you have some names, go to their websites and find out everything you can about them.

5. Subscribe to their newsletters. Read past issues that may be archived on their website.

6. Read their blog. Many coaches are now adding weblogs to their online presence. Read what they are writing about. Does it resonate with you or not?

7. Identify 3 coaches you might like to work with. By this time you have gathered a great deal of information, have eliminated many and are probably down to a relatively short list anyway. Honing it down to 3 gives you enough choices without sending you into overwhelm.

8. Make an appointment with your top 3 choices. Most coaches offer a free introductory session. Take advantage of this offer and talk with them. What is most important during this session is to pay attention to how you feel with this coach. Do you feel comfortable? Does the coach feel genuinely interested in you? Does the coach seem to "get" you? Does the coach's pace and style work well for you? What kind of value did you receive from this one session? Did the coach answer your questions completely? What is your intuitive sense about each coach? Your intuition may be the deciding factor and, in some cases, may override your objective criteria.

9. Make a decision and hire a coach.

Final Note It took me over a year to find my coach. In the end it came down to two possibilities. One was very experienced, highly regarded in the coaching community and exhibited excellent coaching skills in the many classes I took. The other was a relatively new coach who was just starting her business. I had taken one free teleclass and a 4 week group. I liked the material very much but didn't particularly like the group.

So who did I choose? I chose the newer coach. Was that the right decision? Absolutely! I had a strong intuitive pull to her which was the deciding factor. In retrospect, the more experienced coach has taken off in a direction that is totally incompatible with my values and I would be looking for another coach had I hired him.

Instead, I have an established relationship with a coach who knows me well, knows when and how to support me, knows how to challenge me effectively and has great insights. Best of all, she asks really, really great questions.

Having the right coach for you can make all the difference in achieving your goals. Take your time, explore your options and trust your judgment.

Good luck!

By Susan L. Fuller

Choosing an Apprentice

Along the path from where you are now to millions in revenue, thousands in readers, tens of thousands of prospects, or hundreds of clients -- whatever criteria you use to define success for your coaching...there us is one key speedbump which is seldom talked about.

That is capacity.

This is especially true as your revenues grow up to six figures and you set your sights on building a seven-figure legacy business with a global impact. 

How do you get your head around this problem? What secrets will ease your way through the growing pains? 

In all the many thousands of hours of consulting, coaching and training I've done, there is only one key I've found to date that doesn't require significant cash investment. And that is the concept of apprentices.

Several years ago I was one of those apprentices.

I'd been running my own recruitment business for some time, and had become disgruntled by putting great people into heirarchical organizations that stifled creativity and disregarded the whole person. 

I decided to take a sabbatical and paid for supplies to begin volunteering with the Coaching Scoop's Real Interviews project for Steve Davis and Thomas Leonard of CoachVille.

Some might say I had found myself a real winner of an apprenticeship program.

I tell you this story for two reasons.

(1) You may find yourself wishing for an apprenticeship for yourself, from time to time. It's a great way to move quickly into new areas by finding a mentor who will trade you a lifetime of wisdom for your legwork.

(2) Regardless of where you think you 'are' in your work, you are ready for an apprentice. Because the benefits of an apprentice are in fact much greater to you than just the added pair of willing hands.

What you teach, you become. 

And what you teach, also becomes your legacy. 

As you mentor your apprentices, there is a point at which they become your proteges. 

This is a tipping point that occurs when the apprentice graduates from learning to creating.

A few things to bear in mind as you prepare for apprentices:

(1) Don't change what you do. 

Design the apprentice relationships so that it doesn't disrupt your productivity. Allow your apprentice to come into your existing set up. The key at the beginning is to increase your capacity, not add capacity.

Your apprentice is someone you invite to your house without cleaning up first. Soon enough, they'll be helping you tidy things.

(2) Pick certain people for your apprentices. There are two main criteria.

You must like and respect them.

They should be entrepreneurially minded, meaning either they have run a business of their own OR they were brought up by familiy who did.

The latter covers just about every other characteristic you could want: loyalty, hard work, a sense of urgency, and a problem solving orientation.

(3) Use technology and systems to support the addition of new people to your business.

The most basic and essential way to induct an apprentice is to set up a system of shadowing. The simplest way is to set up your email so that a copy gets sent to your apprentice.

That's a natural part of the selection process because the apprentice - mentor relationship can rely quite a bit on personal chemistry and whether or not the visions align. 

By Andrea J. Lee

Is writing an ebook for you?

Do you have the answers to a specific problem? Can you research the answers? Do you have a personal story to tell about overcoming the problem in your own life?
Is there a group of people for whom this problem is universal? A group of people who wake up in the night in a sweat, wishing, praying and wracking their brains for an answer?
The more they are in need of help, the more likely your ebook can change their lives.
If you think writing an ebook is for you, this is what you need to know:
1. A great ebook is not long.
In fact, the very best ebooks are 10-35 pages long, and no longer.
Why is this? 
The ebook that is short and sweet answers in a laser-like fashion the problem that the reader wants to solve.
It's the most valuable ebook a client can buy because you have filtered the exact information they most need, and cut out the rest.
Don't make the mistake of thinking you need 100 pages to call yourself an ebook publisher. Cut to the chase. 
2. A marketable ebook is very specific.
This goes hand in hand with #1. 
Don't write ebooks that are general. They just aren't marketable and you'll be in for a heartache. 
The key to marketability is communicating to specific people that your answer is the precise one they need.
3. A great coaching ebook uses a coaching approach.
Take some time as you prepare to write your ebook, and do two things:
Read great ebooks AND transfer what you know works as a coach, and transfer that to your ebook.
As a coach, do you harness the power of the provocative question in your one on one coaching calls? 
Perhaps you have a special ability to see the greater truth in a client's life? 
Take special note of what makes your coaching exceptional in one mode of delivery and deliberately set out to translate that to the writing you do for your ebook.
By Andrea J. Lee

Throw a No-Heat Party for the Planet

Is it really possible to have loads of fun, and help the planet at the same time?

I remember the first No-heat party I went to. It was on the coldest night of winter that year, according to the Farmer's Almanac. I know, because the hosts actually bragged about it to us...

You see, even though It was a @#$% cold minus 40 degrees outside, that party had the windows of the house completely fogged up from our body heat, all night long.

The hosts were thrilled, because they'd managed to turn DOWN the thermostat for the very coldest night of the entire year. (This was the kind of thing they got their jollies on. I know. I can relate.) 

In fact, what really made me stop and think was that I found out later...they didn't have to heat that place for the ENTIRE next day. I guess it didn't hurt that they'd jammed us in like sardines and we were quite the rowdy bunch. Giggle.

Actually, throwing a No-heat party is pretty simple! Here's what you do:


Invite a bunch of people over. Friends, coworkers, family, or a combination works too.

Turn DOWN, or OFF, your thermostat an hour before everyone arrives.

Enjoy the party. (If you've invited enough people, it will be a nice warm one.)

Warm it up even more by turning up the music and dancing off that food.

Thank everyone for their body heat contribution (or don't, if you're shy) and hit the sack happy, knowing you've done a cool thing for the planet AND had a great time.

Easy right?

You're absolutely right.

And what you'll have had there, is your very first green, no-heat party. Congratulations! I hope it's the first of many, many more.

Turning down your thermostat just the one or two nights a month or so, when you're entertaining, is a mindless, simple and FABULOUS way to help the planet. Heck, you may even want to throw more parties so you can do it more often! Just be sure you're fair about it and go warm up your friends' houses once in a while too.

By Andrea J. Lee

Simple Tips to Move Forward on the Job

Someone I know wants to move into another job in the same company. It is not a management job. It's a job as an assistant safety coordinator.

She knows very little about company safety practices at any business. She is ready to learn.

The first task she needs to do for herself is to find out why she wants to advocate and prepare herself for a different job. Without a goal directed toward a different job, and specifically directed towards this one, her energy and focus will be superficial. It is important that she write out reasons to make this shift. They do not have to be lengthy or academic. Clear, direct reasons for getting a different job, and one where she has no experience, are the bedrock of making a serious job change.

Next, does she have transferable skills for the change in jobs? Can she do the work? What does an assistant safety officer do? She needs to "interview" her business safety officer to find out what her/his job is really like. Diplomacy is necessary in interviewing someone in their job when the interviewer is an employee at the same business. Telling the safety officer that you are a learner only is a good way to make that person feel comfortable in sharing information.

It is wise to make this clear in establishing a trusting relationship for both employees. Making a proposal to the safety officer is a good idea; a proposal about what the other person can offer the safety officer. It can be a mutually helpful relationship over time.

(to be continued)

By Marilyn J. Tellez, M.A.,

Successful Change Starts With A Shift In Perspective

Like so many in corporate America today, Susan needed more balance in her life-but she did not know how to get it. Faced with a 60-hour work week and a lengthy daily commute, Susan was left with little time for outside interests. Her job was literally draining her of energy, and her attitude at work was changing, especially within her business unit.

Who is Susan? Susan is a composite of thousands of executives who are pushed to the brink by trying to juggle demands on the job with demands at home. Susan could be you.

At work, Susan was accepting extra work and projects and was not able to say "no" to her boss. She became frustrated and drained. By accepting everything and not speaking up for herself, Susan became increasingly frustrated and angry. She became more demanding and less flexible with her own team. Her usual encouragement to "think outside the box" was replaced by a controlling "do as I say" attitude.

Micromanagement became her style. As a result, her staff appeared less involved in their work. They began to distance themselves from her. 

On the social front, Susan was also making unhealthy choices-spending time with friends and family that were draining and burdensome and then keeping silent and angry about it. She did not have anybody to talk with about her experiences and frustration, so there was no one who could help her develop the perspective necessary to propel her toward greater personal fulfillment. 

Like so many other executives, Susan believed that if she increased her hours and worked harder, life at work would get better. Are you just like Susan? Do you think that if you become more demanding and micro-manage your employees, the job will get done? Do you think keeping silent makes the problems go away?

To anyone who still believes this way, this is your wake up call. It does not work. Change is the answer-change coupled with a shift in perspective.

But sustaining meaningful change is never easy. It takes desire, intention, a clear vision, a good plan . . . and commitment. Change also takes time. In our increasingly busy lives we often get overwhelmed with demands on our time. Complacency sets in, and we lose the ability to overcome inertia-the tendency of a body at rest to stay at rest or of a body in motion along a certain path to stay in motion along that path.

To change, we must create structure that encourages and supports change, and it begins with an all-important shift in perspective. Instead of living in silence and hiding-or being overly controlling in our work relationships-or feeling that we need to leave our job-we can start by considering a more fulfilling alternative.

In Susan's case, she looked at what energized her, what she was good at, and what gave her joy. She put limits on the amount of work she was willing to take on and began speaking up to make sure her needs were heard and met. She shifted from being a controlling team leader to one that encouraged risk-taking and "thinking outside the box."

The result? Greater group cohesion and less stress for everyone involved. Group members felt less restricted and more empowered. Susan added greater value to her company and the results were visible and rewarded. More opportunities-the kind of opportunities Susan wanted-started coming her way.

At the same time, Susan developed criteria for what she wanted in her relationships. She evaluated her current relationships and determined which ones needed to be addressed. She began to speak up to make her needs known, and in some cases she ended unfulfilling relationships. As she revised her standards and set limits, she gained more energy to try new activities outside of work-re-awakening areas of interest that she had long ago left behind.

Susan's success story can be your success story, too. And it starts with four simple steps.

You must . . .

1. Be clear about your intentions to make a change;
2. Be willing to experiment and to try new strategies to achieve the changes you want;
3. Be willing to learn what works and what does not, and to make adjustments;
4. Not let fear stop you from making these significant changes.
To successfully change-whether on the personal or professional front-you need perseverance, feedback, and support to help achieve your goals. But change you can . . . and sometimes you must.


By Steven Bacharach, Psy.D.

Choosing The Perfect Coach

So, you're ready to start coaching. You either have some issues that you think a coach can help you overcome, or you just think it's time for a quality of life tune-up. You've reviewed your budget and set aside some money to cover the fees and you've ascertained that you are reasonably free of any serious mental or emotional issues that might interfere with the process. But now comes the big question: "How can I find a coach that's right for me?"



To Niche Or Not To Niche?

For starters, you need to know what kind of coach you want to work with. Do you want a generalist or someone who specializes in your issue or lifestyle? Some professionals hang out the shingle of a "life coach" and field anything and everything that comes their way, within their own personal standards and competencies. Others specialize so tightly that you wonder how they can find a big enough market to stay in business (and yet, they do!). A generalist can be great if you're not sure what your main issue is, or if you want the freedom to move around from one life issue to another over a wide range of areas and subjects, whereas a specialist is perfect for someone who wants to concentrate on a very specific segment of their life or activities. And for every possible niche, problem, situation or person there are at least a handful of coaches - parenting coaches, menopause coaches, family coaches, business coaches, family business coaches, custody coaches and coaches for single dad's who own their own business and who want to be better fathers and businessmen (see what I mean about a narrow market wedge?). If you live it, run it, do it or live through it there's a coach out there who works with people just like you.



Quack or Jack?

One thing you should know before setting off to find a coach is that as of this writing (9/04), there is no consistent or required certification process for coaches in America (or in many other countries, that I know of). However, that does not mean that the industry is full of fakes and fumblers. As in many professions, lack of credentials do not necessarily indicate a lack of skills and ability any more than a wall full of degrees guarantees them.

Currently, the International Coaching Federation and the International Association of Coaches are the top two certifying boards in America. However, since coach certification itself is so new, very few coaches have been certified to date. This means that there are thousands of perfectly competent and even gifted coaches out there with no "papers" to speak of. So how do you tell a good coach from a bad one? The only real way to tell is to do your homework. Ask for references from prior clients. Check to see if the coach in question is a registered member of any of the ethical regulating boards, such as the IAC or ICF. If your coach gets results, doesn't cross any ethical lines (diagnosing mental illness, offering guarantees of improvement, crossing personal/professional boundaries, etc) and fits well with your personality and way of being, then you are probably in good hands.



Be Vewwy Vewwy Quiet - I'm Hunting Coaches

Now that you've narrowed down your choice, it's time to go on the hunt for a few coaches who meet your requirements on availability, price and personality. Of course, word of mouth is always the best way to find any professional service provider, as they come prescreened and pre-approved by people you trust. If you don't know anyone who can recommend a coach, one of the easiest ways to find one is through a coach referral system. Be sure the referring site's requirements for listing submissions meet your personal guidelines for coaches - some sites require little more than a submission fee. A few of the more popular and reputable coach referral sites are Coachville, the International Association of Coaches, the International Coach Federation, and the European Coaching Institute.

Check out the prospective coach's profile and their website, if they have one. Do they inspire a feeling of competence and professionalism? Read through any articles or other material they have written to get a feel for what sort of person they are and if their views and outlook mesh with yours.

See if they offer a free initial interview - most do - and set up a call with your top picks. Come prepared with a list of questions you want to ask - don't forget to inquire about price, frequency of sessions, between session support such as emails and brief phone calls and anything else that you can think of that gives you pause. Share any fears and concerns you have with the coach and pay attention to how they answer as much as what they say. Are they evasive, or effusive? Do they make sure they understand your question completely before answering or do they give you a canned speech? Are they warm and inviting or brusque and fast-paced?



You'll have to decide for yourself who fits your personality best - ask about cancellation policies if you're worried about getting "stuck" in a coaching relationship - but if you follow these guidelines you'll have a sound start on your next great adventure - exploring you. Bon voyage!

By Soni Pitts

The Power of Online Memberships

Have you ever noticed geese flying overhead, whether that be south for the winter, or back home in the spring? 

In Canada where I live, this is a regular sight and a sure sign of the seasons passing.

From time to time, it's easy to notice that there is a certain pattern to the flying geese. Often, they fly in formation, in a shape that makes it easier to fly as a group than alone, something that conserves energy for the trip.

Online memberships, when built right, are built on the same philosophy, even though they consist of bits, bytes, pixels and websites and not beaks, feathers or wings.

Have you noticed that things are easier to do when you're surrounded by like-minded people going for the same goal?

Training for a marathon seems less onerous when you run with a bunch of buddies.

A garage sale seems like too much bother until the neighbourhood holds one together.

And of course, goals become so much more achievable when there's a coach in the picture.

An online membership usually consists of a private website available to a certain set of people with common interests and goals. 

Much like a library, online memberships take on a certain form, often containing resources such as books, magazines, articles, and even audio and video materials.

Premium membersip sites will often integrate a personal touch by providing support from a real person, whether that be by email, help desk or at a discussion board.

At its most elaborate, membership websites can leak over into the offline world, and members who were previously cyber-buddies only meet face-to-face for the first time and the bonds get cemented. These tend to be memberships that have the most longevity online...they achieve this by weaving in real meetings so the online connection takes on a new dimension.

Online memberships have certain significant characteristics:

A membership site gives your clients access to the information they need, when they want it, not just when you are available by telephone.

A membership site gives your clients access to each other, and the body of knowledge they represent, which can be enormous. The powerful connections that are made are very good fodder for a multidimensional coaching experience for your clients.

A membership site can be demanding to maintain, since new content and material need to be developed to ensure the membership is fresh and up to date. 

With more than a million people in the world now identifying themselves with one of thousands of online groups, online memberships are modern 'tribes' that are filling the gaps being left by neighbourhoods and even church groups of old.

By Andrea J. Lee

Tips for Writing Great Coaching E-Books

Never understimate the power of a well-written word. Tens of thousands of readers of coaching ebooks have had their lives changed for the better by a well written ebook.

It's a remarkable medium that you can tap into to coach others day or night, in the city or country, all across the planet. 

Is writing an ebook for you? 

Do you have the answers to a specific problem? Can you research the answers? Do you have a personal story to tell about overcoming the problem in your own life?

Is there a group of people for whom this problem is universal? A group of people who wake up in the night in a sweat, wishing, praying and wracking their brains for an answer?

The more they are in need of help, the more likely your ebook can change their lives.

If you think writing an ebook is for you, this is what you need to know:

1. A great ebook is not long.

In fact, the very best ebooks are 10-35 pages long, and no longer.

Why is this? 

The ebook that is short and sweet answers in a laser-like fashion the problem that the reader wants to solve.

It's the most valuable ebook a client can buy because you have filtered the exact information they most need, and cut out the rest.

Don't make the mistake of thinking you need 100 pages to call yourself an ebook publisher. Cut to the chase. 

2. A marketable ebook is very specific.

This goes hand in hand with #1. 

Don't write ebooks that are general. They just aren't marketable and you'll be in for a heartache. 

The key to marketability is communicating to specific people that your answer is the precise one they need.

3. A great coaching ebook uses a coaching approach.

Take some time as you prepare to write your ebook, and do two things:

Read great ebooks AND transfer what you know works as a coach, and transfer that to your ebook.

As a coach, do you harness the power of the provocative question in your one on one coaching calls? 

Perhaps you have a special ability to see the greater truth in a client's life? 

Take special note of what makes your coaching exceptional in one mode of delivery and deliberately set out to translate that to the writing you do for your ebook.

By Andrea J. Lee

Expectations Can Get In Our Way

There are times when we truly look forward to something just as there are times when we totally dread something. What is the difference between anticipation with joy and anticipation with anxiety? Where and how does that expectation actually take place? If we think about it, the expectations take place in our minds. And, what that really means is that we totally make it up. We tend to create ideas and stories about how wonderful or awful something might be.

If we expect things to be positive and then they're not, we have set ourselves up for a disappointment. If we expect something to be difficult or challenging, and it winds up being easy or fun, we are pleasantly surprised. The things that we expect are things that have not already taken place, so in essence, we can't possibly know for sure if they will be good or bad. Yet, we THINK they will be one way or another. All the while, the idea of good or bad is going on in our minds even though the actuality hasn't yet taken place.

I can remember letting every distraction take me away from a project that I was really dreading. In my mind, I 'expected' the project to be difficult and time consuming. Clearly, I couldn't 'really' know what it would be like because it hadn't actually happened. Yet, I was convinced of all the negatives. Eventually, I set aside a block of time and 'forced' myself to deal with and finish it. What happened in reality? Once I set the time aside and focused on it, it went smoothly. It wasn't particularly difficult and the relief I felt when it was complete was enormous. That is not to say that the expectation may have turned out to be true. It may have been difficult, but it's important to note that either way, a lot of energy went into the expectation phase and could have gone directly into the reality of doing it -rather than wasting energy thinking and guessing what it might be like.

Thinking back to a time when my children were quite young, my son, who is older than my daughter, was extremely cautious and conscientious. My daughter was much more of a free spirit who didn't concern herself about responsibility. My son came home from school without his hand-knit sweater. I went crazy not understanding how a child who is so responsible could do something so irresponsible. Then I caught myself - I thought if this had been my daughter, I would have expected something like that. And from that moment on, I realized how our expectations can get in the way and how our behavior can be based on ideas and thoughts that just aren't true and may have no relevance. ANY child could have left a sweater behind. The difference occurred only in my expectations.

INVITATION TO EXPERIMENT: Is there something that you have expectations around? Perhaps, it's the behavior of another person, something you have put off doing, or maybe it's realizing that an expectation exists in your mind about something you would like to be different. If you are willing, notice your expectations and see them for what they really are - just ideas around something that may not be true or may not be possible. Also, notice how much time or energy goes into thinking about the ideas running rampant in your mind. Hopefully, you'll experience freedom and relief when dropping those ideas.

By Marion Franklin

Do You Dither in Your Job Search?

I looked up the definition of "to dither" before writing this article. It is to be agitated and in a nervous state.

My definition, however, as it relates to a job seeker is that some people will spend many minutes and hours, seeking a way out of looking for a job. It is a neighbor of procrastination.

But "dithering" also can mean, going from one activity to another. For example: Writing down names of people to call about jobs, but never making the calls or putting one's attention onto other things.

All kinds of motions/actions are made to find a job.They all add up to busy work and the active tasks are left out.

How will a person stop this aimlessness and get something done on their own behalf? Setting goals with a definite timeline to achieve them, are what job seekers HAVE to do.

"Dithering" is good for butterflies and birds, but not for job seekers.

By Marilyn J. Tellez, M.A

The Great Marketing Reframe

From grimaces to stomach knots, talking about marketing seems to take on the sound of Charlie Brown's teacher, with so many syllables of "wah WAaah, wah WAah, wah."

What does this mean?

For starters, I find it terrifying ironic that, when it boils down to it, truly - marketing and coaching are actually ONE.

Yes that's right. I may be in the minority, but it's served me very well to see marketing and coaching with an equals sign between them. As in they are equivalent.

At heart, coaching is nothing but an advanced level of communicating, or some might prefer the word relating. Great coaching expands your awareness, lights a fire under you, makes you go 'Eureka!'

In the same way, great marketing is really only communication.

It causes action.

Coaching AND marketing both, when they're doing their 'thing'? bridge gaps of understanding. They solve problems. 

But of course when great marketing is being done on behalf of things, people or concepts that we don't like or agree with (politicians, warfare, annoying television, anything being marketed at the dinner hour) THEN of course, we begin to hate marketers and marketing.

I really think the way to get over this angst around marketing is to let ourselves be convinced or not convinced, whatever way the message is being delivered, AND whether we are convinced or not, reserve the right to NOT buy.

A lot of the reason why people (coaches too) feel the need to be rude to a telemarketer is because they're afraid of being sold, and spending money they don't have.

So try it, whenever you think about doing something dreaded like 'marketing' of any kind, think of it as coaching instead, and retap into that deep well of conviction and passion that you are here to coach.

By Andrea J. Lee

Burn-Out ...Whats Next?

If you feel the heat of burn-out, it is possible to stop the fire before it stops you.

Burn-out burns out
confidence
trust
hope

Burn-out can burn up
your job
your marriage
your friendships

There is a simple strategy for helping yourself prevent burn-out, especially if you are a person with more responsibilities than choices.

This strategy may seem too simple, even a waste of time, especially if you are used to looking for a SOLUTION.

YOU CAN PREVENT BURN-OUT BY LEARNING TO LISTEN TO YOURSELF ...even IF YOU THINK THAT YOU ALREADY KNOW EVERYTHING YOU HAVE TO SAY!.

If you are a person who is living in the Myth of Everything, then a PART of you that thinks it's ALL of you may be living MOST of your life. That PART of you may not be able to stop herself from working harder and harder as a way of finally making life easier...unless she finds someone to talk to.

The PART of you that is trying to be ALL of you may think that she is ALL of you, especially if you have taken it for granted that she is.

Everyone else in your life may think that this PART of you that tries to do it all is ALL of you, too.

If this is the case, you probably have A LOT of obligations and very few CHOICES.

If you are close to burn-out this PART may be doing everything she can to take care of you the only way she knows how.

I wonder how long she's been living your life.
I wonder who she thinks you are.
I wonder what she does to take care of you at work.
I wonder what she does to take care of you at home.
I wonder how old this PART of you really is.
I wonder what she would do if she discovered that she isn't alone.
I wonder how she would feel if she knew were listening and that she had even one person who understood what it feels like to be you.

If a PART of you has been living your life inside the Myth of Everything, she has probably been trying to get it all done so that you can finally do what you want, but this Part of you may not be big enough to be EVERYTHING FOR EVERYONE ALL OF THE TIME. She may not be big enough to be everything for you all of the time either.

HOWEVER....she may not appreciate your shoving her aside and taking over.
What if you asked her what you could do to help her out?
What if you asked her what would make it possible for her to let you be around more of the time?

LISTENING to yourself can often prevent burn-out. LISTENING is FRIENDLY.

Listening to a part of yourself is a good way to make a new friend of someone who thought you already knew.

When you LISTEN to a PART of you, then you are by definition NOT ONLY that PART...When you aren't ONLY one part of you, you might be able to find other parts of you that know how to help you avoid burning-out. You might find other parts of you to help you live the life you really want.

If you decide to LISTEN to the part of you who is living MOST of your life, remember that she needs a friend and not another critic.

After all she has been trying to do it all in a life where there is always more to do. Even if you can see that she doesn't "get-it" about what you really need, THIS PART OF YOU NEEDS A BREAK.

The last thing she needs is somebody telling her that she is not doing enough.

What this part of you really needs is a friend. She needs someone to talk to.

You could be that friend. It might make all the difference.

I am a graduate and ongoing student of Mentorcoach a professional coach training program, and I am a member of the International Coach Federation.

In addition to professional coach training, I have a Master's Degree and license in counseling psychology, graduate training in business communications, a graduate diploma in religious studies, a five-year training-analysis in Jungian psychology, and nearly twenty years' experience helping people make choices, overcome obstacles, and resolve conflicts in order to act in ways that satisfy them.

I also co-own and operate a thriving small retail business and know first-hand how to help you plan and work in the real world.

7 Destructive Habits of Incompetent People

WARNING! If you want to have a fantastic life, never engage
yourself in these 7 deadly habits that incompetent people do.

NUMBER 1 - They Think, Say, & Do Negative Things.

Yup. They see problems in every opportunity. 

They complain that the sun is too hot. They cursed the rain
for ruining their plans for the day. They blame the wind
for ruining their hair. 

They think that everyone is against them. They see the problems
but never the solutions. 

Every little bit of difficulty is exaggerated to the point of
tragedy. They regard failures as catastrophes. They become
discouraged easily instead of learning from their mistakes.

They never seem to move forward because they're always afraid
to come out of their comfort zones.

NUMBER 2 - They Act Before They Think.

They move based on instinst or impulse. If they see something
they like, they buy at once without any second thought.

Then they see something better. They regret & curse for not
able to take advantage of the bargain.

Then they spend & spend again until nothing's left. They
don't think about the future. What they're after is the
pleasure they will experience at present.

They don't think about the consequenses. Those who engage
in unsafe sex, criminality, and the like are included in
this group.

NUMBER 3 - They Talk Much More Than They Listen

They want to be the star of the show. So they always engage
in talks that would make them heroes, even to the point of
lying.

Oftentimes they are not aware that what they're saying is not
sensible anymore.

When other people advise them, they close their ears because
they're too proud to admit their mistakes. 

In their mind they're always correct. They reject suggestions
because that will make them feel inferior.

NUMBER 4 - They Give Up Easily

Successful people treat failures as stepping stones to success.

Incompetent ones call it quits upon recognizing the first signs
of failure.

At first, they may be excited to start an endeavor. But then
they lose interest fairly quickly, especially when they
encounter errors.

Then they go & search for a new one. Same story & same results.
Incompetent people don't have the persistence to go on and
fulfill their dreams.

NUMBER 5 - They Try to Bring Others Down To Their Level

Incompetent people envy other successful individuals. Instead
of working hard to be like them, these incompetent ones spread
rumors and try every dirty trick to bring them down.

They could've asked these successful ones nicely. But no, they're
too proud. They don't want to ask advise. Moreover, they're
too negative to accomplish anything.

NUMBER 6 - They Waste Their Time

They don't know what to do next. They may just be contented on
eating, getting drunk, watching TV, or worse, staring at the
blank wall with no thoughts whatsoever to improve their lives.

It's perfectly fine to enjoy once in a while. But time should be
managed efficiently in order to succeed. There should be a
proper balance between work & pleasure.

NUMBER 7 - They Take the Easy Way Out

If there are two roads to choose from, incompetent people would
choose the wider road with less rewards than the narrower road
with much better rewards at the end.

They don't want any suffering or hardship. They want a good life.

What these people don't know is that what you reap is what you
sow. Efforts & action will not go unnoticed. 

If only they would be willing to sacrifice a little, they would
be much better off. 

Successful people made it through trials & error. They never
give up. They are willing to do everything necessary to achieve
what they aspire for in life.

By Michael Lee

Theres Gold in that Silence

Can you recall a time where you utilized silence to make a point? If you can consciously recall, you probably know your silence made more than just a point; it made an exclamation point ... and without a single word preceding it. Now that's powerful.

Silence is a widely-known, but rarely used, powerful communication tool. Why is that? Because it can be used to shed light or convey darkness. Utilizing the sound of silence is truly the "master's" art of communication. It quaintly epitomizes a spiritually and socially acceptable passive assertiveness. The ability to remain quiet confirms that one is in total control. It also confirms that the individual is disciplined and will not be lead into conversations that are counterproductive and energy-draining. Silence can help us listen, keep a secret, serve in love and receive the very core of what is being said. Silence can say "I really do care."

Have you ever had a conversation where all you were waiting for was for the speaker to pause, just so you could say, what you needed to say? You know, where you start planning to respond to that which hadn't even been said yet? We all have. When this happens, we don't absorb the full content of the conversation. Many variables influence our desire to lose focus on what our speaker is saying. For example: your schedule, what you may be watching on TV, your mental, emotional, and physical states and of the like. Listen so that both your brain and heart are passionately aligned to receive the speaker's words. Strive to increase your understanding and place it before your desire to be understood.

Learn to be comfortable with silence and master the self-control it requires. Only then will you be able to experience the "golden" within.

By Fran Briggs